Staying in My Power

I’m not going to give any one else my power (and neither should you!)
I’m going to stay in the light and love of my power.

I got off the phone and there it was again, the trigger…. My sister was questioning my choice of language, my intention and my interactions with her. I was angry, hurt and deeply frustrated. This pattern between us had been playing out for our entire lifetimes and I was done. And in that minute, I had a choice. I no longer wanted to make myself small so that I could be loved. The words came to me with clarity and strength: “I’m not going to give anyone else my power.” It’s my spiritual inheritance. It’s mine to have and hold.

Rather than attaching myself to her story about me and allowing myself to feel less than, thinking I had to compromise myself to be loved, I realized I could stay in the light and love of my own power. I am not talking about a power that is egotistical and superior, but a power that comes from the One source of all our magnificent power. I was a success in the split second that I committed to not giving away my power… a “split second success” that I had been working on for a lifetime. In order to fully stay in my power I realized I had to do something else…

I needed to offer forgiveness and understanding, acceptance, compassion respect and love for her. I have learned these traits from chanting the You are Love chant from my spirit buddy Shelley (Barnosky?) Goldberg. If I could offer forgiveness to my sister for hurting me once again, compassion for her own triggers and acceptance of her story and mine and how our story weaves together, then I could stay in my power.

As I chanted these works of “I’m not going to let anyone take my power” “I’m going to stay in the light and love of my power,” I felt an inner strength. I was no longer giving myself away to be loved, no more compromise of my essential self, no more feeling less than so I could trick myself into thinking that this might bring me love and acceptance and a way to be cherished and respected.

A critical part of this healing process is to chant it with a sense of forgiveness and understanding. It meant I could no only stay in my own power, but I could also forgive her for the ways she hurt me, and be in a place to accept it all without blaming either of us.

Full disclosure: There are two contexts that I believe contributed to this specific insight. Firstly, I had just done some soul retrieval work with a Shaman Itzchak Beery who told me my soul’s purpose is to be in my power and to know I can still be loved! Secondly, my spiritual guide Ariana Arlen had just sent me Marianne Williamson’s poem about power and light. I had known this teaching of hers, but I printed it out and made a promise to myself to read it everyday as a prayer so that its meaning and truth could live in my heart and on my lips.

I share it with you now in Ariana’s name and in the name of Marianne Williamson.

Blessing: May you have the awareness in a split second to know you don’t have to give away your power. That staying in the light and love of your Power serves everyone, the Planet and, yes, even yourself.

 

Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

 

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